I've been thinking a lot about "perspective" lately.  How two people perceive the same event in different ways - all of our students perceive the same lesson differently as well...I heard a brain scientist recently claim that Howard Gardner's Multiple Intelligence Theory was a crock - that we have the same number of learning styles as people on the planet because every brain develops uniquely - shaped around our perspectives and experiences.

Along this line of thinking...it came to mind this weekend that people experience the same loss in unique ways, as well...from their own perspective.

Saturday afternoon was gorgeous - a little windy, but still.  After my son's basketball game my parents (Dad and Stepmom) and I were hanging out in the school parking lot chatting - while Logan dribbled the basketball all around the empty lot.  We were talking about stuff - nothing deep - nothing serious.  I mentioned that Logan wanted to start T-ball in April and that I had signed him up.  My dad's silence was very noticeable and he stopped making eye contact.  (I made a mental note that this was the second time he looked uncomfortable at the subject of T-ball starting soon...hmmm.)  I kept talking..."So, I was wondering...Dad...if Grandpa wanted to buy Logan his first glove or if I should talk to his dad about it..."  Nothing.  Really?  My dad lettered in four sports in highschool, played college ball and baseball is his FAVORITE sport - he takes Logan to countless Rockies games and loves to play basketball with Logan...why, nothing?

Cindy piped in, "I will buy his heart guard - for sure - count on me!"

Then it hit me...and I thought "Geez, Meredith, this is not rocket science - duh!"

23 years ago...I was 15...my brother, Matt was 12, my sister, Katie was 7 and my youngest brother, Patrick was 6 years old.  Patrick was an amazing athlete - played every sport that required a ball and was good - so good that it was not uncommon for the family to walk to the nearby park and play a game of baseball.  On June 29, 1989, my step-mom hit a fly ball to Patrick and when he went to catch it, the ball missed his glove, hit his chest and stopped his heart.

Of course Cindy would volunteer to buy the heart guard - the very heart guard that was invented after Patrick's accident and is a required piece of sports equipment because of his tragic accident.  "It doesn't matter how much it costs - grandma will buy the heartguard" and she said this out loud in that school parking lot on Saturday afternoon while my dad wandered off with Logan to play basketball - never saying a word.

I drove away thinking about perceptive on Saturday afternoon - how each member of a family can perceive and react to a loss in unique ways - of course, we were all devastated and sad is too bland of a word to describe the feeling but the fact remains that my loss was that of a sibling and my dad's loss was one of a child.  Two very different perspectives.

It's been 23 years - of course I think of Patrick - he comes to mind often on the predictable days of his birthday and anniversary date.  He comes to mind more as I watch Logan grow up with the same athletic gifts.  But I know, for my dad, he comes to mind daily - still. 

So, I will understand if he misses a few T-ball games this year...and even next and I will look forward to seeing him at soccer games and basketball games.  I have a feeling, however, that he will do what he does best - he will be there - stoic and thoughtful but he will be there - for Logan.  Because Love is a Common Perspective Shared by Mankind.